Right now I’ve got 4 new prospects in the pipe (i.e. on the phone, ready to meet up). This is more than enough to deal with at one time for me.
Once I’ve setup my profile, the formula I like to follow is this:
1. Email (include something specific so you don’t look like a cut n paste)
2. They email back
3. I email back with phone details and ask them to text me (takes the pressure off, it’s easy for a girl to send a text and then I get their number)
4. They text me and then I call them
5. Have a 20min or so chat, get to know them, then one of us will usually suggest to meet up.
I think it’s important to progress things quickly here. Online dating can be a big waste of time and some girls are on there without much real intention, motivation or courage to actually meet someone. You also don’t want to put in too much effort only to find out the girl is much larger / uglier than portrayed online or has intimacy issues. So you want to filter them in or out quickly. I like to get them on the phone as soon as I can (but not the first email because I think that appears a little too needy). If a girl isn’t willing to get on the phone then there is no hope on even meeting her.
I went through a little exercise and created a fake female profile on two sites. I learnt a lot from this.
The main things were:
a) any even remotely attractive woman gets bombarded with contact,
b) most of the guys on the sites are losers and
c) many of the emails are obvious generic cut and paste jobs
d) the sites communication model is important. A monthly payment for unlimited contacts system just results in mass spammage. A pay per contact system is much better.
Sources of online dates
Popular pay dating sites.
Pros – Girls can be more ‘serious’ about meeting up, More popular = more girls online.
Cons – Girl’s aren’t getting enough male attention offline, may mean they’re not all that. Costs money.
Free dating sites.
Pros – Free. Girls are somewhat serious about meeting up and the whole online dating thing.
Cons - Less popular means less users, not advertised on TV, usually clunkier to use.
Social Networking sites – Facebook, MySpace, etc.
Pros – Just about every girl is on one or both of these, including all the very hot ones. Easy to get a ‘Facebook close’.
Cons – Girls aren’t actively dating. Can be slow. Can be the low value wussy / creepy Facebook stalker.
Online special interest forums not relating to dating
Pros – Girls aren’t actively dating (i.e. not neces
Cons – very low chances
Motivations and profile of women on dating sites
- Validation / Boredom (usually these are time wasters, many times low self esteem)
- Lonely (new to area)
- Has a lifestyle where she is exposed to little suitable men (a small or female dominated workplace, girl is not very social, perhaps a suburban girl with a boring suburban job)
- Getting older, bio clock is ticking – woman hits 30 or 35.
- Doesn’t have guys approach them in bars, clubs at work or on the street (i.e. unattractive).
- Girl is highly sexual and looking to get laid
- Girl is looking for ‘her soulmate’ and doesn’t like bars / clubs.
It’s my experience most girls fall into one or more of the above categories. It's worth keeping these motivations in mind as they can help you calibrate.
As a result in my personal opinion it’s quite rare to find a young, high quality, attractive, sexual, confident smart woman (i.e a true 10) on the site and if you could she’d be flooded with contacts that she’d probably unsubscribe from it within a few days. A girl like this would have more than enough propositions day to day than she could handle. This is the case at least in Australia although there are always exceptions of course. I once found a very attractive flight attendant who was also a ballet dancer. We had 3 or 4 emails back and forth, all very positive, fun and flirty. Then unexpectedly she de-registered from the site before we had traded any contact information. A similar thing has happened 2 or 3 times now. Don’t let this happen to you!
A girl from out of town can be great. If you can give her a good time by showing her around to a few cool places, it’s a win-win. You can play tour guide. She gets to have an exciting time finding new places she wouldn’t have otherwise known about. Anyone who’s moved to a new town knows how much fun this can be.
A 30-35 ‘clocks ticking!’ good girl who is obviously looking for something long term can work, although it’s probably in neither of your bests interests to go for these girls unless you’re serious about something long term too. Don’t cross them off the list completely though, you can be their ‘sex toy’ whilst they’re looking for Mr Right. I’ve been with one, banged her within 2 hours and then she freaked out and had buyers remorse. She’s still keen on me but she keeps insisting on the ‘slow path’ (courting, etc). As I’m just interested in something physical (the sex was really good!) it’s ended up in a bit of a stalemate. Funny story – she sent me a text saying ‘I feel like a booty call’. To which I replied ‘Sure, come over’. She was actually saying that she felt like slut, not that she was up for some fun.
I much prefer the younger, 22-25 year olds who are just up for a new experiences.
I called a few to meet up on Sunday evening for a little 20 minute evaluation date. I tried to set 3 up. One didn’t answer, another was keen so we arranged to meet and another was a maybe.
I spent half an hour on the phone the two girls who did answer. This built comfort and helped me determine if they’re girls who I’d be interested in.
I headed down the street to meet up with SlimBlonde30. Just as I arrived about 3 minutes before we agreed I received a text saying she’s cut two of her fingers really bad and had to cancel. I texted back, 'No worries, another time. I'll be here just doing my shopping then so if things change in the next 30 get in touch'. She called a few minutes later to apologise profusely and insist it really happened. I told her to checkout the Slap Chop video on YouTube.
I did my weekly shopping and the 'maybe' girl texted me and said she's keen to meet. As she was without a car I drove around to pick her up. She was pretty cute, tall. She had nice skin and looked like she might be a 1/10th Asian or something.
I took her to this cool bar where they do amazing $4 pizzas. A casual place, ultra hip. I grabbed a couch where we could sit side by side to allow for some casual touching. Sexual talk, are you a good cook/rich/in bed?, point system – 'If you get 10 points you can see me again'. She asked 'What do I get if I get 100 points?', role reversals, lots of kino.
We had two drinks here, I bought the first, she bought the second round. I then thought I'd take her to another venue to create a greater number of imprints of us together (i.e. that we've known each other for longer than we actually have).
Whilst waiting at a traffic crossing I got right up close to her and gave her a little kiss. Just a teaser.
We had another drink at venue 2 on plush seats next to the fireplace. During this time I was talking up my apartment, how it's 50's style, it's view, etc.
We walked back to the car and I just started driving to my place. Only about halfway there she asked 'So where are we heading?' I said 'To check out the view!'. She said 'Oh, I can't remember us saying we'll go there but sounds good'. Lead, lead, lead. I also dropped in ‘Can’t stay long, have to work next day’.
Put on my Bobby Womack station on Last.fm and grabbed us both a drink. Then we had the usual tour of house which starts with the balcony for another very quick kiss and ends in bedroom.
From there it was pretty straightforward, she sat on the bed and was an active participant in the process. I have a new thing where I say 'OK I'll let you up on my bed just for a few minutes but only if you take your boots off' (as if she just asked to come on my bed). Wash rinse repeat x 3-4. Agreed with her, ‘Yeah, I was about to say that, no sex tonight’.
Once she stopped and said ‘Why do you want to sleep with me? You don’t even know me.’ That was interesting that she vocalised what so many girls are thinking at this point. They need a reason other than the fact that they have a vagina, otherwise you’re just a guy who’ll fuck anything (i.e. a guy who doesn’t have standards). This is what is meant by qualification (i.e. letting her know why she’s won you over), a step I hadn’t consciously executed. Actually, I wasn’t consciously executing anything. This whole pickup was natural and auto pilot, I had already fucked other girls so many times on the weekend my dick was sore so I wasn’t even really caring if we hooked up or not. It's nice to be with a girl who knows what she wants. She came, I came, good times.
In summary, gaming girls online can be the lazy mans method and there is no need to approach. You can also do it at work. It's also a good way for getting practise dates if you can’t get any or a few girls in the rotation if you need some more. The downsides are that it's inefficient and can easily be a waste of time and energy. Can plan a nice day 2 for a girl who turns out to be fat / ugly / boring / non-sexual / psycho or all of the above. Also, the chances of getting an all round 10 are on the low side, although it's possible. Having said all that, of those girls I have met up with and wanted to sleep with I've had a huge success rate, although that's pretty similar with other methods of meeting girls.
It is MUCH more efficient to cold approach (or social circle for that matter). You know they're hot straight away and after a little chat you can quickly get an idea if they're interesting and/or sexual, rather than it being long drawn out process of courting via email. I think online supplements other methods nicely but not to be relied on as your only source for meeting women. In cold approach you separate yourselves from the masses of guys who simply don't have the balls which gives you a big advantage. Online can also cost money, where cold approach can be free. I feel I'm only good at this as I’ve mastered all other steps.
Keen to hear anyone elses tips, thoughts, experiences - add a comment below!