Handling the 'maybe' aka the 'if I'm not too tired'

A fellow dating coach just wrote a blog post on a very common situation in modern dating.

You: 'OK cool, so how about we catch up after your dinner?'

Her: 'Sure, can I call you after dinner to tell you how I feel, and if I'm not too tired, we can get together?'

Agree to this and she's become a definite, and you're just an option... not a powerful position for you.

This is my take.

Many girls (and high value people) don't want to commit to a social option until the last minute, unless it's something huge.  Especially young, hot girls who have more social options than they have time and energy and especially a potentially awkward thing like meeting up with a new guy (she's yet to discover fully how awesome I am).   

When I'm presented with this situation I respond with a similar 'Oh hey that's cool, because I was going to do xyz.  Let's just check in later and see how we feel at the time'.

At this stage I'll try and arrange something else, potentially with other girls or even just hanging out with a mate.

If I do arrange something else that is better, I'll do that and send her a very nice cancel text - 'Hey, a friend of mine is demanding I go out with her, I figured you wouldn't mind as you'd probably be tired.  If you're not you're welcome to join us if you want'.  If she complains I'd say something like 'Hey next time, if you can do a definite I'll be a definite' (with genuine politeness, naturally).

This will help train her to realise that unless she commits, I won't commit, and once you cancel on a girl 9 times out of 10 they start chasing even more ('wow, nobody cancels on me, he must have options').  It can be scary to say no to a girl like this.  Isn't there some ancient wisdom out there, something along the lines of 'if you want something you must let it go free'?

If I haven't arranged something better, when the time comes I'll text or call 'Enjoy the dinner?'.

If she replies 'Great, but really tired.  Raincheck?'

I'd reply 'Oh good, because I just bumped into an old friend and she's insisting on buying me a drink.  I don't feel so bad now about having to cancel.  Rest up and you'll have to tell me about it sometime'.

I'd then just do something else.  There are plenty of other productive things I can do if I find myself with spare time.

Is it stupid game playing?  Yes.  But that's the unfortunate reality in my view for gaming certain girls.

Sometimes it's not about questioning or demanding certain standards of behaviour from people who are too young, inconsiderate or lazy to follow, it's about doing what's fair and effective.

I always give people the benefit of the doubt and try and make plans properly - but I'm not going to give my power away.

If a girl gives me a wishy washy 'Yeah, maybe', that's exactly what I'll give her in return (and follow through with).

If she gives me a solid commitment that's great and that's what I'll give her in return.

Dale P.

You know what's really cool? How women are so different and awesome in those different ways.

I see a smokin' chick and I'm like damn, she's just my type too. Then you meet another girl and that happens all over again.

Welcome 2011!

Long time no blog...

What have I been up to?  Well, I took on a juicy contract with a fancy software company that saw me flying around the country non-stop.  So financially things have been well, although obviously this had an impact on my free time.

The last extension has me finishing up today.  I just received another offer through till early April 2011 which I'm going to have a think about over the festive break.

I've also been travelling with my iPad.  This is an amazing device for reading stuff, but not much fun writing anything longer than a one line email or status update.  As a result I have been keeping up to date but not so much forum or blog posting.

As you can imagine plenty has happened and I've got loads of stories to tell you about.

The infamous same night MFFFF 5 some report
The big breakup
German girl in Vegas
MILF
Deaf Brazillian girl
South America, Argentina and Brazil (Florinapolis)
German girl in Brazil
Australian girl in Brazil - locked up abroad

These reports are the closest thing I have to a personal journal and I do enjoy writing them and reading them down the track.  Problem is though I'm such a perfectionsit bastard I spent too much time writing them up.  I'm aiming for two a month, let's see how 2011 goes.

Have a great Christmas.


Dale P.

Dale P. is in LA!

Hey guys what's up.

Just a quick note to say I'm in LA for a couple weeks to do a bit of coaching with Brad, Jake and the boys.

I've already met with some of the Pickup Mansion students...if you're in the LA area hopefully I'll catch you around soon.

Great article - 'Why It Is Wise to Worship a Woman'

Hey guys,

Just read this article on Huffington Post.  It's a great read - especially the part about stepping through the gates.  Highly recommended.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arjuna-ardagh/goddess-worship_b_660896.html

Step through another gate with your commitment, with your attention, with the small seedlings of devotion, and she'll open her heart to you more. She'll share with you her insecurities, the way that she's been hurt, her deepest longings. Some men will back away at this point. They realize that the price they must pay to go deeper is more than they are willing to give. They start to feel a responsibility. But for those few who step though another gate, they come to discover her loyalty, her willingness to stick with you no matter what, her willingness to raise your children, stick up for you in conversation, and, if you are lucky, even pick up your dirty socks now and then. And so it goes on. You've got the gist by now.

Enjoy.  As always I'd like to hear your comments.

Dale P.

'Results anxiety' and having realistic expectations

Just got a newsletter the other day from one of the larger dating coach companies and had to write this blog post.

You see, as per 99% of the marketing out there, it's my gut feel this company exaggerates their student success rate.

I'm not going to name names, and hell, it's a pretty hard thing to prove either way so what's the point.

My purpose here is not to bag out some other mob.  I've got more productive things to do with my time.  

My purpose here is to dispel any unrealistic views on what you can expect from pick up and to spare you from the stress that these views will give you.

You see, it's a personal gripe for me because once upon a time I fell for it myself.  Back in 2007 I reached a stage where I was getting some really good results.  Sure, I wasn't perfect.  I laid 20 girls that year and they were some cute/cool girls, but they weren't the model looking girls I saw plastered all over the dating company websites.  I wasn't at the stage where I could walk into a club, say a few things, snap my fingers and walk out with the hottest 10 each week.

So I started to wonder.  Well, I started to more than wonder.  I started to experience 'results anxiety'.  Damn, from what I was reading these dudes are out there and they are OWNING it and having threesomes with models, and here I was, standing around with my cock in my hand back in Australia laying an 8 once or twice a month.  

So I made the trek to LA to see what I could learn.  

Whilst there I got the chance to sarge with some celebrity PUAs.  Most of them were really cool guys and I ended up coming friends with some.  Now, as expected, these guys had seriously awesome game, although anyone thinking gurus have MLTRs with penthouse pets are dreaming.  

My biggest realisation during my time there was that I had some unrealistic views on what success in this area looks like.

Here are some real world results I've personally verified:

Bootcamp with Company 1 - 8 guys, 3 instructors, regular 3 day/night course

Results - 3 students had makeouts, one had a lay 2 days later from a girl met on course (note, this was a pretty advanced student).

Bootcamp with Company 2 - 6 guys, 2 live-in instructors, 14 days straight teaching and traveling around.

Results - Had girls back home a few times but zero lays.

Bootcamp with Company 3 - 2 guys, 1 instructor, regular 3 day/night course

Results - both students had makeouts, 1 got laid, 1 got to 3rd base (both advanced students).

Bootcamp with Company 4 - 3 guys, 2 instructors, regular 3 day/night course

Results - one advanced student had a few makeouts.

All those companies are big name companies you probably have heard of.  

I'm sure if you do a bit of detective work you'll find similar stories.  So any claims about %'s of students getting laid that are wildly different to the above - do take with a huge grain of salt.

Contact actual guys who went on the course and speak to them if possible.  Anyone whose only source of information about a company you take is from an online forum that same company owns, moderates and censors... well... don't be surprised if you're let down later on.

So when the Underground Dating Seminar took 6 guys out in Chicago on a regular 2-3 day workshop and 4 of them got laid off cold approach - that's something REALLY special.  Seems like many companies are claiming this all the time.

You were probably attracted to our teachings because of our 'no-BS marketing' and raw approach in the first place.  Sure, we've got the flashy website now but for years it was pretty basic.  As a boutique operation our company prides itself on great results and integrity and there is no exaggeration in our field reports or marketing.  

We get amazing results with students at a consistent rate, but we're not going to delude them.  We're only setting them up for disappointment if we did.

Dale P.

Guest LR from Sharky - 'Texta girl'

Got a guest blog post for you today.  This one is from Sharky, one of the 30/30 boys.  He's about 1/2 way through now and just had his first same night lay since joining!  A real cute girl too.

Over to Sharky...

LR: Texta girl (aka Marker girl for our US readers - Dale P.).

I went out with a work mate and some of his friends. After watching them get very drunk I bailed from the cock-laden sports bar and walked to a venue that promised lots of girls. The place was packed; I walked in and cruised around checking what was on offer.

Upstairs was mainly guys watching the world cup soccer so I headed back down to the bar and dance floor area. I saw a real cute, slightly bitchy looking girl leaning against a pole and though it would be good to start with a blow out to pump my state, which wasn’t exactly high after being around a few drunk guys for the past 2 hours.

Opened with a blend of Brad’s Disney opener, which kind of morphed into Glenn P’s version of it. The bitchyness melted away and the conversation went sexual very quick. I had just listened to the 30/30 month 7 cd’s so had that on my mind and some of the topics made for great early sexual conversation. I was also experimenting with mentally escalating her with dirty talk. We moved away from the noise and the conversation got a lot more personal. I made a few cold reads, which were spot on. Logistics were perfect as she was a lone wolf and had just bailed on a hens night. I made her sit on her hands and continued, we seemed to have everything in common and it reached a point where she couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed me and started making out.  After about 20 more minutes of talking and escalating, she was so hot and bothered she dragged me to the dance floor so she could get more physical. I didn’t let this go on for to long before I pulled her head back by her hair and said, come with me right in her ear. I then walked her outside and jumped in a cab to my place.

Once there I threw her on my bed and started building the sexual tension. I told her to tell me about her sexual fantasies, slowly and in as much detail as she could. She told me about how she loved the feeling of a nikko pen on her skin and that she wanted to be drawn on, all over her body. I told her that I would be back in a minute and when I returned she was to have nothing on but her bra and panties.

I left my room and found a massive blue marking pen. When I got back she was exactly how I told her to be. I then proceeded to slowly draw all over her, writing dirty stuff, my name, coloring in random areas and she loved it.  She moaned when I ran the pen down her ass crack and up the front over her clit (she still had her panties on). I was having lots of fun and laughing to myself . We then had sex, slept for a while and woke up for round two. The following morning she couldn’t believe that she had told me about her fantasy and that I had done it, she said she would remember it forever!

After lying around and talking for a few hours while I played with her amazing boobs that barely fit in a d cup, I drove her home and dropped her at her parents place, covered in blue pen and missing her underwear! I later found these after cleaning up the clothes and crap that were thrown around my room, they are covered in blue pen, what a reminder for a crazy night.

This was my first SNL since joining 30/30 and the third girl I have closed in the month since my 1 on 1 with Dale. I am behind on my approaches for the month but that’s ok, because my interactions are going a lot further now, which is what its all about. I’ll finish this months approaches this week then move onto the next month of the program.

Mate this is awesome stuff.  Sounds like you had a great time and she had a great time.  This is what it's all about in my opinion.  How many girls go through life without ever being able to experience their fantasies for real?

Being able to do these is a great skill to have.  Knowing that you can go out, meet a girl for the first time and end up having a mutually pleasurable experience is a wonderful feeling.  Giving a girl a great experience will mean she's not going to forget you in a hurry.  Sometimes good sex can be hard to find for girls (sure... plenty of bad sex is around on offer from the wrong types of guys).

Sharky is a dedicated student who is now starting to enjoy the results of his hard work he's put in over the past 6 months.  Keep up the good work and don't forget that photo next time! ;)


Dale P.